A letter to my younger self

Dear 11 year old Shriya,

Get out of bed, go wash your face, take a deep breath and listen.

Please stop crying, they don’t deserve your tears and their words definitely don’t deserve your attention.

“I feel sorry for you” “You don’t deserve this” “It’s too hard for you, you will not be able to do it” “I pity you” “Give up, trying is just a waste of time because you anyway can’t do it” “Don’t put yourself through so much pain, take it easy on yourself, you aren’t cut out for this”.
I know that it hurts and that it isn’t easy to not pay attention to what they’re saying and to not care, but listen you’ve got to not give a fuck. The stuff that they say, the negativity that they breed isn’t what you deserve. Stop trying to get them to like you, they never will, they really aren’t worth your time and energy.

Do not give up on what you want to do. If you really want it then do not care about what they say. The truth it that there will always be people waiting to stop you and criticise you and pull you back, so there’s point in not working just because of their presence. Work hard, put in all your time and effort in growth, your only aim should be to breed positivity and love. Don’t even think about hurting those who hurt you, just leave them behind.

Have fun. There is no designated age at which you can have fun. You’ve got to make the most of what you have and enjoy yourself at all times. Break rules, do the things that you wish you could do when you look at others. Bunk classes, slide down the rails along the staircases, copy during tests -make memories, because when you’re in bed at the end of the day you want to smile apart from just being satisfied about having completed your super hectic schedule. Loosen yourself, don’t be so scared and go have fun.

Make good friends and by this I do not mean only the friends with whom you can sit and laugh but also those with whom you can have long, deep conversations about things that actually matter to you and to them. Make friends with people who’ll contribute to your holistic growth, who’ll go through all the ups and the downs with you.

Learn that you have to do certain things irrespective of the fact that you see no point in it. For instance, learning math and science isn’t something you’ve actually liked or enjoyed, but your liking for certain things isn’t always necessary, you’ve gotta do it because you have to. THERE ALWAYS CANNOT BE A CHOICE. But trust me it’s only till you’re done with tenth grade and after that you can do what you enjoy but remember that that will involve hardwork too. Nothing is easy and nothing comes with an instructions manual.

Stop pitying yourself, feeling sorry for yourself and stop looking for sympathy. You are as capable as the others around you are. Just because their wrist isn’t broken, just because they look more attractive, just because they are taller doesn’t make them any better than you. The things or factors based on which you compare yourself to them and to almost every person you see are superficial; all that matters is hardwork, effort and commitment and we both know that you can and are willing to put in all that into what you do. So, get ready, tie your shoelaces, smile and remember that you got this girl!

Follow your intuition, believe in yourself and cling to your courage. If you feel like doing something or if you want to try it then go give it a shot. Don’t worry about what people will say if you aren’t good at it, just take a deep breath and go have fun, I’m sure that you’ll enjoy everything, well if not now at least in retrospection you’ll know that it was worth.

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