I might’ve said, “I forgive you”,
But I honestly haven’t.
The way you looked at me,
Laughed at me
And spoke to me,
Have all left me broken,
Insecure and troubled.
But I didn’t lie when I said that you made me a stronger person,
Because you really did.
But you’ve left a brutal scar
On my mind,
On my heart.
It hurts me,
Almost everyday to think of High School
Because when everyone was having fun,
Taking part in events
And learning a lot,
I sat there,
In the corner of the classroom,
Or walking slowly along the walls of the corridor,
Questioning my existence
And wishing I could stay at home
And learn at home,
Where I could be myself- unfiltered and happy,
Where I wouldn’t have to meet Comparison, the thief of joy
And hate myself for being the way I am.
Wherever you are,
And whatever you are doing,
I genuinely hope that you are doing well and are happy.
But I also hope that you’ve changed,
Changed the way in which you look at the people around you-
As inferior and needy of your evaluation and approval.
Stop giving yourself so much importance,
Not because you don’t deserve any,
But because it’ll eventually isolate from the world,
The world will eventually come to bully you,
To dominate you,
And it’ll hurt.
You’ll feel worthless and unwanted and hopeless,
And no matter how bad you’ve been to me,
You do not deserve that brutal, heart wrenching pain.